Talking in Church. What Should I Do About It?

Q - I get angry when I see people at Mass that talk, text, or laugh at the Priest… just a general lack of reverence before God in the Blessed Sacrament. I just get so frustrated and hurt that people come to Mass and act the way they would during a lecture or class, and are ignorant that others may wish to try to grow in holiness and closeness to God (so that they might “sin no more”), let alone care about their own relationship with God. Can you help?

A - Thanks for the question. It isn't uncommon for people to carry on a conversation quite loudly before, during, or after Mass while still in the sanctuary. Before I address any other issues, I would like to say quite plainly that this kind of behavior in a Catholic Church is very inappropriate. These kind of conversations should not happen in church. Even if you are visiting, not praying, bored, etc. there are still others that would like quiet time in prayers. We should always respect others enough to be quiet while in church. Also, using your phone in church is inappropriate as well, unless you are using it to pray or get the readings. Lastly, if you are a parent and you have a young child who can be noisy, please take them to the back if they get noisy (i.e. don't try quieting them for more than a few seconds).

These requests might seem like common sense to some, but not to others.

So, why would people act in this way?

• Maybe they don't understand what is going on with the Mass - so they are ignorant of the sacredness of it.
• Maybe they are visitors and the parishioners at their church do this all the time and they are used to it.
• Maybe they are uncomfortable in church and want to talk to comfort themselves.
• Maybe they are hard of hearing and don't know how loud they are being.
• Maybe they like attention and having others hear all about their lives.
• Maybe it is some other reason.

So, what are we do about it? Well, you might not like my answer. I would offer it up as a sacrifice. Your annoyance and pain is nothing compared to what our Lord feels. We need to set a good example and shushing people or giving them angry looks will not draw them closer to God.  Also, we need to learn that we cannot control other people's actions, but we can control how we react to them. I also believe it is best to offer up prayers for those people and thank God that they are in Mass and not just wasting all of the Sabbath.

Just this past Sunday, I had to deal with this kind of conversation before Mass. It took a lot of effort, but I offered up my frustrations and ended up having a great prayer time.

Now if this is a continual problem, I would voice your issue with your pastor and let him decide how to best handle the situation, which is really his problem, since it is his flock that is having the issue.

The exception to this would be repeat offenders. If someone is continually talking in Mass, I would politely (very politely) ask them to please continue their conversation outside of church so you can pray.

I hope this helps.