Monday, July 12, 2010

God Is Late To The Wedding.

From The Onion. Very nicely done...
CARTHAGE, MO—An embarrassed God admitted Monday that He was late for the Saturday wedding of Patrick Moore and Dina Roble, arriving halfway through the ceremony but catching "most of the important stuff."

"It was one heck of a day," God said. "Yes, I can be all places at once, but it's just so hard to keep it all straight sometimes. It's been crazy all month, and this thing just came up so fast."

The ceremony that forever joined Moore, 28, and Roble, 26, in holy matrimony was held at 11 a.m. at Sacred Heart Church on Gorman Avenue in Carthage. Neither bride nor groom was aware of the Lord's tardiness.

"Religion is very important to my entire family, and Dina and I plan to raise our children in a Christian environment," Moore said. "So it was important for us to have our wedding in a Roman Catholic church, and be united under the eyes of God."

God admitted that His eyes were upon the couple for a little less than half of the ceremony—"which is a lot," said God, considering the length of the Roman Catholic liturgy.

"The Catholics go through everything at a wedding," God said. "There's a sermon and readings and even Communion. With the songs and the procession and the 'I do' stuff thrown in there, it takes so long. And the whole time, it's stand, sit, kneel, stand, sing, recite, sit, stand, sing, kneel, sit."

God added that the ceremony's liturgy of the Word—which includes readings from the Old and New Testaments, a responsory Psalm, the "alleluia" before the Gospel, and a Gospel reading—is nothing He hasn't already heard "billions of times."
Continue Reading.
Thanks to Dave for sending this to me.

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