Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Top 35 Saints Names Rarely Picked for Confirmation

I want video of the Bishop who confirms any person who takes these Saint names for Confirmation.
In making this list, I do not intend to ridicule the Saints or those they intercede for.

No names are made up.

Top 35 Saints Names Rarely Picked for Confirmation

35 - Saint Abban of Magheranoidhe
-My tongue hurts from trying to pronounce Mag2#*yudrand.

34 - Blessed Rudolph Aquaviva
-Isn't a bottled water named after him? No that was Saint Flavian of Acquapendente.

33 - Saint Exuperance
-She was very enthusiastic.

32 - Saint Fabius Claudius Gordianus Fulgentius
-I wonder if his parents spoke Latin?

31 - Saint Zynovij Kovalyk
-The last Saint in the alphabet and one of the hardest to pronounce.

30 - Saint Gall
-He was brazenly bold.

29 - Saint Aceptismas
-He accepts the Mass.

28 - Saint Lancelot.
-No. Not THAT Lancelot.

27 - Saint Vimin of Holywood
-Holywood not Hollywood. Big difference.

26 - Saint Austin (AKA - St. Augustine of Canterbury)
-When will there be a St. College Station?

25 - Saint Artaxus of Syrmium
-Any Saint name that sounds like "tax us" probably isn't going to be awfully popular.

24 - Saint Christina the Astonishing
-Sounds more like a master of illusion show.

23 - Saint Januarius
-Followed by Februarius, then Marcharius, etc.

22 - Saint Alphege the Bald
-I like this guy.

21 - Saint Mamas
-One of a kind. This is the only Mamas that is not a woman.

20 - Saint Bairfhion
-Huh huh. He said "barf".

19 - Saint Teath
-Patron against cavities?

18 - Saint Tron
-The video game was better than the movie.

17 - Saint Kenny
-Only his mother called him "Kenneth"

16 - Saint John the Great Sinner
-I can relate to this Saint...

15 - Saint Conon
-That was close. I thought it was "Conan".

14 - Saint Bru
-Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "What's up Bru?"

13 - Saint Olive of Palermo
-Her mother was a Kalamata.

12 - Saint Vicelin, Apostle of Holstein
-Is this the patron of fresh milk?

11 - Saint Dora
-She discipled Boots and evangelized Swiper.

10 - Saint Rollox
-Always on time.

9 - Saint Nabor
-Nothing is known about Nabor. Of course, most don't know their neighbor.

8 - Saint Gwynnin
-Can I buy a vowel?

7 - Blessed Andrea Carlo Ferrari
-His once vice was driving very fast in fancy cars.

6 - Saint Olav the Thick
-Just don't call him that.

5 - Our Lady of Knock
-Who's there?

4 - Saint Pancratius
-I got over it with some strong antibiotics.

3 - Saint Peter Chanel
-Always smelled good.

2 - Saint Guy
-Patron of dudes?

1 - Saint Chillen of Aubigny
-Ah yeah. Chillin' with Chillen.


Diakonos said...

As a confirmation coordinator...I am definitely handing out this list next year...I just want to see the archbishop's face when he begins calling them forth...LOL.

jdonliturgy said...

What? I had at least one girl every year I was a parish director who wanted Christina the Astonishing - who is reputed to have escaped from locked rooms by flying out of windows. There were at least as many of them as boys who wanted Joseph of Cupertino, the other "flying saint"!

Marcel said...

It is really more about having fun with some Saints' names.

Adoro said...

My Confirmation Saint was St. Christina the Astonishing.

tour86rocker said...

St. Cunegunda
St. Expeditus
St. Dymphna
St. Ceolfrith

Christopher Milton said...

St Januarius - Patron saint of volcanoes and those living near them. He was to be put to death by kiln. He survived, and so did those that they sent in to see if he was dead yet.

Ed said...

Don't forget St. Maximus.

Commander of the Armies of the North and general of the Felix Legions. Rumored to look like Russell Crowe.

Also, I thought St. Dora was an explorer and St. Nabor was more poulalrly know as Gomer?

Patrick said...

It's funny you mentioned St. Peter Chanel which is my home parish, and numerous confirmation students pick St. Peter Chanel.

Also funny how within 5 miles of St. Peter Chanel, there's a St. Pancratius parish.

MelG said...

My confirmation Saint was St. Dionysia. Father David definitely stumbled over her name a bit.

DonBagert said...

Wish I had this a few weeks ago, but will save it for next year. Thanks Marcel!!!

Éamonn said...

Saint Abban of Magheranoidhe? Easy peasy! Pronounced Ma-her-ann-owie.

Saint Bairfhion: Huh huh. He said "barf". No, he didn't, it's pronounced Barr-yun.

Our Lady of Knock. Who's there? Someone who knows that it's really pronounced "Kuh-nuck"!! The real name is Cnoc Mhuire, the hill of Our Lady. Interesting but odd fact Máire is the Irish for Mary but Muire is the name given, in the Irish language, to Our Blessed Lady and her alone.

Marcel said...

Eamonn - but I speak Texan...

Januarius said...

My confirmation name was Januarius when I was confirmed in 2003. The bishop asked if there were any "odd names" prior to starting, I didn't say anything. When I came up he looked at the name, looked at me, looked at the name again, then stuttered while trying to pronounce it. It was priceless!

Mary Graham said...

This was great....we laughed....

Paula said...

Maire is our daughter's name. I love that there was a special name set aside for the blessed mother!

Madde Fees said...

I'm being confirmed tomorrow and my name will be Zdislava.