Thursday, September 6, 2012

Top 20 Odd Patronages of Saints

It has long been Catholic tradition to assign a certain patronage to different Saints. These usually are assigned because of a certain location, career, event, etc. that a Saint had. For instance, since St. Luke was a physician, he is one of several patrons of doctors.

There are others who have patronages are quite odd.
NOTE - In making this list, I do not intend to ridicule the Saints or those they intercede for.

Here is my personal top 20 list of odd patronages of the Saints, in reverse order.

20 - St. Drogo - Patron of coffee houses, unattractive people, midwives, mute persons, and cattle.
-I really don't see any pattern here. Was he one of the "catch-all" saints?

19 - St. Joseph of Cupertino - Patron of air travelers, astronauts, and pilots.
Why these three? Because he was known to levitate. I have this feeling that astronauts and pilots are using a different principle of flight than he did.

18 - St. Sebastian - Patron of hardware stores.
I wonder if he prefers Lowe's, Ace, or Home Depot?

17 - St. Joseph of Arimathea - Patron of undertakers, morticians, and pallbearers.
See what you get for giving Jesus your tomb?

16 - St. Friard - Patron against fear of wasps.
When Friard was tormented for his piety, a swarm of wasps went after his tormentors - BZZZZZ

15 - St. Teresa of Avila - Patron of people ridiculed for their piety.
All who are ridiculed for their piety should pray to her - except for St. Friard, who takes care of them himself.

14 - St. Magnus of Füssen - Patron against caterpillars.
Couldn't he just wait until they turned to butterflies? Yes, I know they can turn into moths and caterpillars can destroy crops...

13 - St. Clare of Assisi - Patron of TV writers.
I have this feeling that the writers of Charles in Charge never prayed to St. Clare.

12 - Our Lady of the Annunciation - Patron of Texas.
Of course, us Texans will not settle for anything less than the #1 Saint - Mary.

11 - St. Barbara - Patron against things that go BOOM (lightning, artillery, mine collapse, fire, etc.)
Her father had her beheaded after she became a Christian, then he was killed by lightning.

10 - St. Julian the Hospitaller - Patron of wandering musicians, clowns, murderers, carnival workers, and fiddle players.
St. Julian killed his parents by accident while they were visiting. They were sleeping in his bed and he thought his wife was cheating on him.

- St. Germaine Cousin - Patron of girls from rural areas.
Sometimes the patronages get very specific.

8 - Blessed Columba of Rietti - Patron against sorcerers.
Does this include Gandalf? Not Gandalf, right?

7 - St. Gertrude of Nivelles - Patron of recently dead people.
When is someone no longer "recently" dead?

6 - St. Patrick - Patron against ophidiophobia (abnormal fear of snakes).
I don't think there is anything "abnormal" about fearing snakes.

5 - St. Columbanus - Patron of motorcyclists.
I believe this patronage comes from him multiplying bread and beer for his community. Emphasis on the beer.

4 - St. Drausinus - Patron of invincible people.
If they are invincible, do they need a patron saint?

- St. Benedict of Nursia - Patron of spelunkers.
You will thank me the next time you are caught in a cave.

2 - St. Theodore of Sykeon - Patron for AND against rain.
Hmmmm. I art confused.

1 - St. Isidore of Seville - Patron of the Internet.
He googled himself and found this list.

Just missed the list:
Saint Servatus - Patron against lameness - this list is pretty lame.


nenikhkamen said...

I haven't checked all 50 states, but something tells me that they are all under the patronage of Mary in some way. Something about her already being the patron of our country I think. Just saying.

Marcel said...

Our Lady of Guadalupe is patron of The Americas and you are correct that Mary is the patron of all states, under different titles.

But, this shouldn't take anything away from the greatness (pride) of Texas.

Marcel said...

Also, the patron of the USA - is The Immaculate Conception of Mary

chestertonian said...

I love all in your list, except: St. Barbara is NOT a patron saint against artillery. She is the patron saint OF artillery.

-Sean Dailey, Catholic, U.S. Marine veteran, ARTILLERYMAN.

Gert said...

With regard to the question in #7: After they have been dead for a while.

Saint Lefty said...

I was hoping to see a patron saint of left-handers. There is a left-handed saint, isn't there?

Anthony S. "Tony" Layne said...

Wasn't St. Frogo the father of Frodo Baggins? :^)=)

m0njc said...

LOL... Cupertino for the astronauts... he knew how to fly...

Nice post...
love the saints and dream to be one of them <3

Nârwen said...

>Blessed Columba of Rietti - >Patron against sorcerers.
>Does this include Gandalf? Not >Gandalf, right?

Of course not. Sorcerers are human - Gandalf isn't, appearance notwithstanding.

goldberry16 said...

St. Joseph of Cupertino is also the patron of final exams (an important one for students!)
The story goes that he was not too bright, but there was one verse of Scripture he could always expound upon eloquently. When, to enter the priesthood, he had to pass an oral exam, he was asked to explain that one verse of Scripture! So, he intercedes for students on their exams, that they be asked the questions they know the answers to!

Talisin319@comcstnet said...

Texans rule ! No I am a native of NYC but lived in and among the Texans and they are the original " can do " Americans.