Friday, June 25, 2010

Help With Pornography

The New York Archdiocese recently held a mandatory meeting for all priests to teach them how to address the problem of pornography. The Diocese of Austin did a similar training several years ago, that I helped put together. But, too many priests still have not been trained in this area.

Many people assume that a priest will have all the answers to their problems. Of course, this isn't the case and we need to continue to educate our priests on the problems that are growing in our society. Pornography is one of the major issues.

One of the trainers in NY was interviewed by Zenit recently. Here is a snip of the interview.
ZENIT: What are some signs of pornography dependence or addiction? How can a person tell if he, or a loved one, is developing this addiction?

Kleponis: First, it can be difficult to identify this conflict in marriage and in family life.
I ask men to reflect upon a number of questions about their behaviors to evaluate whether they are dependent upon pornography: Have you withdrawn from your emotional and loving relationship with your wife?

Have you lost your ability to appreciate your wife's beauty and goodness? Do you share this part of your life with your wife? When an attractive person walks by, do you lock onto them?

Do you hide certain magazines, or other things from your spouse? Do you look forward to going away on business trips? That's a big one for a lot of men, because in the hotel rooms they can look at all kinds of pornography on television. Also, a lot of times when they go on business trips they'll go to strip bars, pornography shops, or do other things.

Do you have a place where you hide things from your wife? Are there certain behaviors that you cannot share with your wife? These are all warning signs that a person could be developing dependency on pornography.

For wives, the initial thing that they feel is a weakening of the marital friendship with less affection and less intimacy. Their husbands seem much more distant, unappreciative and often irritable and critical.

Wives in this situation usually sense that something is seriously wrong. Their responses are similar to those seen with martial infidelity which, in fact, pornography use is.

When a wife comments on these changes, the response from a husband who is using pornography is often one of initial denial, which again is similar to the response to questions about marital infidelity.
Continue reading.
If you want to learn more about how to heal from conflicts arising because of porn in a relationship, then there is a webinar being offered this Saturday for free. You can sign up here.

Related posts:
*What is Wrong With Porn?
*Porn is More Addictive Than Cocaine or Heroin.
*The Cost of Porn.

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