Monday, July 20, 2009

10 Questions For God

I have a few (not so serious) questions for God when I (hopefully) get to heaven. That is, after my time in purgatory.

10 - Why do people get creaped out by imaginary creatures (sasquatches, chupacabras, etc.) or unexplained phenomenons (e.g. the Marfa lights)?

9 - Is golf just like life and if not then why do you give us so many mulligans?

8 - Where did all this hair on my legs come from?

7 - Why do you dislike the University of Texas so much?

6 - Why can't you make learning a foreign language easier? (note: I don't speak Russian, Chinese, French, or female)

5 - If dogs go to heaven, who does the pooper-scooping, because that doesn't sound very heavenly?

4 - Did you have to make dreams so wickedly strange?

3 - Can it really be called "hiding" when so many people are constantly finding Waldo?

2 - Did you create belly-button lint from nothing - I can't figure out where it comes from?

1 - Why fireants? Seriously.


JC said...

I think the answer to number 7 is because the University of Texas does not like God, and in this way it is like almost all public universities (and far too many private universities, even Catholic ones). Exceptions exist on any campus, of course (including UT's). said...

Variation on #1: Why jellyfish?