Monday, June 16, 2008

New Liturgical Translations

The English translation of the mass has been re-worked and it has raised quite a fuss about what kind of language we should use. Should it be simple? Should it be noble? Should it be balanced?

As usual, I have a few suggestions. Truthfully, many modern Americans may have trouble with some of the language. So, here are a few suggestions to help the modern American understand the translations with ease (please don't take this seriously).

Original:
The grace and peace of God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
New:
God loves you and is like with you, you know what I'm sayin'?

Original:
Alleluia!
New:
:) lol

Original:
We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen.
New:
Like, God is big and stuff...yada, yada, yada.

Original:
Amen.
New:
Whoop! (for Aggie upperclassman and former students only)

Original:
The Mass is ended, go in peace.
New:
Wake up and, like, go home!

Please add your own.

9 comments:

Jen and Dave said...

HA

Ray said...

Old: Peace be with you.
New: Dude.

-----------

Old: The Body of Christ!
New: Dude, JC.

Old: Amen!
New: Duuuuuuuuuuuude.

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Old: Thanks be to God.
New: Dude!

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Old: Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
New: Duuude!

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Old: The Lord be with you.
New: Dude.

Old: And also with you.
New: Dude.

Old: Lift up your hearts.
New: Dude!

Old: We lift them up to the Lord.
New: Dude!

Old: Let us give thanks to the Lord, our God.
New: Duuude.

Old: It is right to give him thanks and praise.
New: Duuude.

Jeff said...

Okay...

Original:
The grace and peace of God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

New:
Howdy!

Original:
Alleluia!

New:
WHOOP!

Original:
We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen.

New:
Gig 'em, God!

Original:
Amen.

New:
WHOOP! (It's a multifunctional term)

Original:
The Mass is ended, go in peace.

New:
{Spirit of '02 is fired}
Hullabaloo, caneck, caneck,
Hullabaloo, caneck, caneck,
Goodbye to Texas university....

Marcel said...

Now we have the Bud Light and Aggie translations of the liturgy. Nice!

marflu said...

In my opinion, Marcel, it seems that the effort to make the Mass more relevant, since Vatican II, has resulted in a less beautiful Mass which seems to have less appeal to people. For instance, here are Eucharistic prayers from before and after the "modernization" of the Mass occured. Please note the simplification of the language:

New:
Blessed are You, Lord, God of all creation. Through Your goodness we have this bread to offer, which earth has given and human hands have made. It will become for us the bread of life.
~
Blessed are You, Lord, God of all creation. Through Your goodness we have this wine to offer, fruit of the vine and work of human hands. It will become our spiritual drink.

Old:
Receive, O holy Father, almighty, eternal God, this spotless host which I, thine unworthy servant, offer unto Thee, my living and true God, for my own countless sins, offenses, and negligences, and for all here present; as also for all faithful Christians, living or dead; that it may avail for my own and for their salvation unto life eternal.
~
We offer unto Thee, O Lord, the chalice of salvation, beseeching Thy clemency that, in the sight of Thy Divine Majesty, it may ascend with the savour of sweetness, for our salvation and for that of the whole world.

Marcel said...

I agree that language is important, which is why I think it is interesting that some think that the "ordinary" modern Catholic won't be able to relate to a noble use of English. Maybe we shouldn't sink quite down to that level - my thought.

diane said...

Did y'all see Bishop Trautperson's remark that the evrage joe-schmoe Catholic supposedly needs a dumbed-down liturgy because that's what we can understand? Talk about out-of-control clericalism! The implication is that we laypersons are too dumb to get it if the language is anything but banal and basic. Like, we won't grasp concepts like "soul," "spirit," "heavenly benediction," "from the risingof the sun to its setting," etc. etc. etc.

How dumb do our prelates think we are? Could they possibly be more patronizing and condescending if they tried?

Ironically, it's the liberal bishops--the ones who claim to have more symathy for lay involvement in the Church--who are the most arrogantly clericalist. They assume we're idiots, treat us like children, and expect us not to have opinions. I guess we layfolks should simply "pray, pay, and obey," while the ultra-clericalist liturgists make all our decisions for us. Thanks but no thanks!

Ed said...

At the end of Mass on day little 5 year old Tommy needed to talk to Fr. David and bolted to the Church exit after telling his mom and dad that he needed to talk with Father.

Mom and dad worried what their young son would say bolted after him. They were late as Tommy ran up to Father David shouting "Father, Father I NEED to talk to you!"

Fr. David said, "What is it Tommy?"

Tommy "You know how at the end of Mass you tell us to go forth and serve God?"

Fr. David "Why yes Tommy, what about it?"

Tommy "I'm sorry Father, but, but we just go home!"

Ed said...

and now for the New england version:


Old: Peace be with you.
New: Except for the New York Yankees.

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Old: The Body of Christ!
New: Don't give it to the Steinbrenner family.

Old: Amen!
New: Go Red Sox!

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Old: Thanks be to God.
New: And to Tom Brady, David Ortiz and Larry Bird.

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Old: Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
New: Coach Belechik, Coach Brown, and Tito Fancona.

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Old: The Lord be with you.
New: When will the Bruins win the Cup?

Old: And also with you.
New: At least the Celtics are good again.

Old: Lift up your hearts.
New: Sox won it all, twice.

Old: We lift them up to the Lord.
New: Patriots won it all, three times!

Old: Let us give thanks to the Lord, our God.
New: And the Celtics won it all! (given they win the Finals this week)

Old: It is right to give him thanks and praise.
New: and an apology from the Bruins for stinking.